So yeah, I believe I had an unexpected crossing of the abyss through something called a infohazard or cognitohazard or whatever you wanna call it. Basically, I had a hole poked in my adamant beliefs of personality and whether it was actually mine or a creation of someone else. Basically, what I started thinking is my personality truly a unique combination of constituent parts that came together naturally, or was it a convenient pre built sim character that someone else made that I could chose from a pool of 10 other pre built characters if that makes sense. This led me down the rabbit hole. Was my personality Truly mine if someone/something else made it? This part sucked. I am tired. Real tired lol. Still kinda am. And yes after like 2 or 3 days of insane mental gymnastics, I can say yes because its a unique assortment of constituent parts that I gathered using my own two eyes and ears for the majority of my formative years. Essentially, my sincere belief is that the internet is killing the variety of personalities. It's turning what use to be hundreds, if not thousands of personalities into maybe 10 or so personalities that have become widespead and glorified in the internet media frenzy.
Anyway, I came here on complete accident because a lot of the new information I am privy to after my experience. parallel very similarly to the topics that your association believes in when the only thing I knew was Alester crowley? The UK black magic houdini guy? Namely the black brother, accepting yourself TRULY, and that once you come out on the otherside ok, that you were looking at a puddle believing it was the ocean. Basically, I don't question why I enjoy something. I just enjoy it. And it feels nice, albeit discombobulating. As long it doesn't involve malicious things that infringe upon others for my own sake. My version of your black brother is named the Damned in my thoughts. The others are the lost. Lost and Damned. In my own thoughts, without using anything except my memories, no internet, nothing. Just me. Not letting someone else do the thinking for me intentional or not. And what's odd is that I randomly began thinking what happens when someone who reaches that next understanding becomes corrupted.. I saw a twisted bleeding effigy that was once the "thing" that enlightened them. It was profoundly sad. I've never had watery eyes I couldn't explain. This was unexplainable. Yeah. Anyways, I left with a fiery guardian angel whos pretty cryptic but a good dude and a hispanic moral compass that calls me pendejo when i do something dumb, and puta pendejo when I do something really dumb lol. They do have full names, but I don't really wanna say their names. Call it as you may, I also got a very explicit warning to tread carefully cause as a light I will now attract things that I may or may not want. And that the Damned, my parallel to your black brothers, have only two objectives in mind. Corruption or destruction. There is no grey in my own beliefs here. I just wanted to leave this here because it felt important and very strange that the points I gathered from my own independent as I could make it experience, parallel to this. Something I've never deep delved into.
If this sounds jumbled, sorry. My head feels like its running waaay too advanced software for my brain to handle.
